COVID and Creativity

While the economy begins to reopen, the creative and performing arts sector continues to ask: How do we share our creations in meaningful ways given our current health and economic environment?

That’s a lofty question. Many of my colleagues turned quickly to online tools to perform, share, and connect. The flourish of content in March was crazy, and continues to be impressive. Yet, for me, the drive to pivot initially never came and I am still grappling with the how to share my voice and work solely online.

My officemate.

The start of my COVID19 experience:

The Friday before the Stay at Home orders in March, I was teaching a Beat Bus electronic bucket drumming workshop at a community center. Halfway through the workshop, I was asked to stop and leave - the center was closing down. I sanitized the drumsticks and buckets, and drove home. I had already gotten the notifications from Berklee and Northeastern that we would start teaching online, and that workshop was my last in-real-life musical experience of 2020.

While I’d love to say that I’ve recorded a new album, launched a subscription-based educational series, and raised thousands of dollars for my favorite non-profit in the last 11 weeks, I cannot. The first few weeks of the Stay at Home orders were focused on juggling childcare, transitioning my classes to Zoom, navigating loans/unemployment/applications/government help (that seemed like a full-time job in itself), supporting my partner whose photography business also closed down, and just trying to stay afloat. I COULD NOT PLAY OR WRITE A NOTE OF NEW MUSIC during those first weeks/months. The drive, joy, and inspiration just wasn’t there, and the only musical effort I could muster was to learn a few chords on the Ukulele (which proved to be a lovely distraction - a montage posted here for your amusement)

My identity is intertwined with my creative output, and suddenly it disappeared.

I needed to remind myself that it was ok. My social media was filled with amazing creatives sharing lovely content, and it was ok that I wasn’t. Tomorrow came, went, and the next tomorrow did the same. I was feeling a kind of stress, fear and sadness that I had not ever encountered, while also trying to create a positive and nurturing environment for my one-year old and rich coursework for my students. I was frustrated and embarrassed that I wasn’t leading the charge in how to navigate a global pandemic as an arts entrepreneur.

earlier this month I seemed to get some sort of spark back. Adam took Lillian out for a Sunday afternoon, and I made new work. it was glorious.

What’s next in this long-term reality?

Now that the transitional period is behind us, I want to establish structures that encourage productivity. I need to muster the drive and dive deep for the ideas. So, I’ve started setting specific deadlines, planning creative meetings with collaborators, and a sticking to a more strict lead-parent schedule with my husband.

I am still stressed and sad for our global health, but I need to balance that anxiety with feeling confident in my purpose and offering as a creative person. I need to envision what my skillset can bring into the world based on it’s current (and longterm) reality.

So, how do we share our creations in a meaningful way? By being vulnerable and strategic simultaneously.

I’m slowly able to share creative work online again, but I’m really thinking about what is 3-12 months down the line asking, what can I create and build now that will set my work and business on a positive trajectory into 2021 and beyond? Ok, I’m still working on the detailed answer to this question, but am at least finding peace with my not-so-brief creativity hiatus.

Stay safe, stay healthy, everyone.

And huge thanks and admiration for all of the front line workers out there. I hope that my work and presence can support you some day.